Mother’s day is coming up and it got me thinking and reflecting. Â Thinking about the journey that led me into becoming a mother and who I am today. Â It was not easy. Â Went through a blighted ovum, 2 years of fertility treatments, a very emotional pregnancy/birth, ending of my marriage, becoming a single mother and navigating co-parenting. Â I also “leaned in” when I was pregnant but then afterwards decided to “lean back”. Â What got me through all of this, is the support and love from my family and friends and my son. Â He has taught me much. Â He makes me want to do better and be better.
So I finish with this:
- To those who don’t want to have kid(s) – it’s okay! Â Screw what everyone else says and don’t be pressured.
- To those who aren’t sure if they want to have kid(s) – please see previous statement. If someone keeps asking/pressuring you – ask them if they would pay your salary while you take parental leave as well as pay for daycare till they get to kindergarten.
- To those who are trying – I am here for you. If someone keeps asking you, be honest and tell them you are trying. Â It will give them a pause. Â I wish I did this more often then try to be polite and simply responding with “Someday.” Â I believe society/culture needs to stop with the “When are you going to have kids?” and “Why aren’t you having kids?” Â type of questions Â (I could write a really long rant on this.)
- To those who are about to have kid(s)/already have kid(s) – trust your instinct. Â Know better and do better. Â Treat your little one with respect. Shift your perspective and then things don’t seem so rough. Â People will bombard you with unwanted advice or tell you to do things that may not feel right to you – ignore them. Â It’s also inevitable that someone will soon ask you when you will have another. Â I would tell them – “I want to enjoy the one I have now. Â I spent 2 years trying to have one. Â Also, are you paying for my parental leave?”
- To those who are the single parent – you are strong. Â You got this. Â Have a support system (if possible).